In 2009, after having spent decades steadfastly climbing the social ladder of success, both Page’s marriage and the business he founded were eroding. Eventually so much damage was done that the life he’d worked hard to create sent him toppling from its top rung. At the same time, along with watching the disintegration of his marriage and his business, he was also forced to watch helplessly as his own father — the man he’d once considered invincible — wasted away from the ravages of Alzheimer’s.
By 2011, left with nothing but the ashes of his previous life, Page was not only struggling with his own anger and bitterness over what had transpired, but gravely worried about the strains his new role as a divorced father were placing on his relationship with his children.
“I decided I wanted to write to Evan,” Page said, “when he was recovering from surgery to repair a lateral tear in his right shoulder. It wasn’t life threatening, but for him it was a time of high anxiety and he handled it extraordinarily well. Witnessing his sense of peace and grace as he dealt with it forced me to put away my own pride and self-righteous attitude and focus solely on him. As I witnessed his courage, it struck me on a deeply emotional level and for a change; I began to think about him instead of me. I wanted to share with him how I felt about him, how I saw him, and how I loved him, so I chose to put my words on paper in the form of a letter.”
What Page discovered was that living, loving and forgiving is a choice. Each day we make a decision to choose to see either the positive things that are happening around us, or we choose to dwell on the negative. Choosing to focus on his son by writing him a letter, and not his own difficult circumstance, helped Roy to move forward in his life with a new direction and healing.
Page is not a counselor or advisor. Finding himself still working through pain, he wants to share with other parents the healing that can occur with divorce or any other life challenges (separation from children, sickness, travel relocation). His goal is to be an encouragement to other single parents in their relationship with their children, family and friends, to give them hope.
“Later, when I realized we weren’t alone in what we were going through, I knew I had to honor my son,” Page added, “and share our story with not just other fathers and sons but also family members and friends who have experienced the pain of life and the pain of mistakes made and hopefully, the healing that eventually comes.”
Co-authored by Sarah Horton, A Letter to Evan is a missive of love, enlightenment, and inspiration. Evolving from letter to book, it is a poignant reminder that the seeds of blessing are present in every challenge and that while we are given all we need to triumph, whether we do or not is always a choice we must make.
by Roy Page
with Sarah Horton
Lucid Books / April 28, 2013
208 pages/Trade Paper/$14.99